Just Thinking About Life

Every now and then I think about life. This time last year I was a different person than I am today. It upsets me that we go through life unsure of who we are or why we do the things we do. Perhaps that's why I like sociology so much. Perhaps that is why I do puzzles.

Looking back to some of the things I wrote last year around this time, it's clear that I have grown. Last year I think I was a little depressed. I wanted to be a savior, even when I couldn't be. I like being able to put a smile on someone's face. It's who I am. I can't change that. I find pleasure in discovering new things and learning about all the different things that make people unique. I like learning about the similarities and people watching. I find it funny how most people are truly honest when their hearts are broken, probably because they don't care how others feel as long as the pain inside stops hurting for just a little bit. Most of all, I can't understand why everyone is always in a rush to grow up!

Someone once told me "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional." And I couldn't agree more.

I understand that we should be preparing for our lives when we are older, but since when does that consist of taking away the joy and excitement we all had as kids? I spent my days off outside playing and now on school breaks all I see is my two younger sisters studying because they have an exam the Monday after. Even in terms of relationships and jobs kids seem to be growing up too fast. But in order to get hired anywhere they want experience. Growing up my only responsibility was school. It just seems that today's youngsters have too much to handle all too quickly combined with the fact that we are all in such a rush to grow up that we skip out on the little things in life that mean the most. 

Additionally, we are so built on this idea of having to be jealous, having to compete, and having to be at war, but the truth is we are all the same. Underneath all the differences we are all serving the same purpose. I mean sure I've gotten hurt over the years too- by countless idiots- girls who said they were my friends and turned the cards, boys who I gave my heart to, only to have it cheated and torn, manipulated and taken advantage of. But what about all the good things that happen in someone's life. Doesn't that shape up just as much of who they are? I'm friendly, patient, and know how to have fun too. But no one would see that unless they took the time to see and really got to know me. Instead of trying to grow up so fast, I think we should all do what makes us happy, what makes us "US" and never forget to smile!

Right now, I'm fighting for what I believe in. I'm defining my career, myself as a person, and more importantly figuring out who I want to be. I used to think that I was a punk, but I realized that's just an act. A way of reaching out to someone who I actually want to be with that I do what I want, go where I please attitude. I'm relying on the fascade to give me a security in which I lack. I'm not always strong. I don't always get what I want. But I think that is all because I've always stood in the way! Always listened to what everyone else had to say and didn't follow my heart. It's funny how we preach to others what the right thing to do is- when we can't even take our own advice. I've always been one to regret nothing. I feel it teaches you something in the end. But I'm also realizing you need to look forward and think things through. People won't always agree with you, but you have to do what you want to do. Stand up against the world. When they push you- if you don't like it PUSH BACK!


Do you ever think about the future? What do you see? I know what I want. I know what I wanted. I think we all seem to forget about the little things that matter in life. We're so in tune with finding all the problems we never actually think about the good. So here is my challenge for you: think about it, what makes you "you"? Now initiate the change! =)